From Nathan Gill's "Clarity"
“There does not need to be any kind of ‘event’ associated with the recognition of our true nature. Well, as it happened, in September 1998 an event arose. I was gardening and the rain was drizzling down. I looked up, and there was a subtle sense of ‘me’ not being there. I got on my bike and cycled around the lanes and it seemed as though there was a movie going on, without any effort necessary on my part to be taking part in it. With this sudden dropping of the ‘I’, all need for understanding fell away as knowing was revealed.”
First a confession. I became irritated and upset the other day at work when someone purposely or purposely on accident, would not respond to my questions. I think I was justifiably upset because of the inconvenience, But something about that just "pushed my buttons".
Well we got over it, but it took a while to figure out why I was REALLY so upset. I think it was my ego. By not paying attention to me they were diminishing "my" worth and and ego HATES that kind of stuff. Most work conflicts I immediately recognize as of little real importance and can keep my perspective. But this one seemed worse.
As I stewed about the disrespect to me and my surprising internal sensitivity, I finally realized I was dragging this act with me all the time. I couldn't let go of the past.
Then I remember Nathan Gill's story about how with "dropping of the ‘I’, all need for understanding fell away as knowing was revealed."
Last year my thought was that there is only NOW, and we are all living in the NOW and the constant worry about the past and the future was just stuff we keep projecting in our brains during the NOW. And that is what I was doing. My ego was constantly replying this disrespect and it take on a life of its own.
Just remembering that story a bit of the ego, the "I" dropped away and my muscles relaxed. Not dramatically like Gill, but still it was something I could feel.
And I think most of society is like that. We are all a bunch of wounded egos running around upset because somebody disrespected us or our team, be that a political team, sports team, or religious team. So to drop the "I" you drop ego, and without ego there is nothing to offend.
So to calm down, my mantra is : There is no "I" there is only NOW!